Dealing with difficult moments in your life

by admin on April 28, 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One person’s journey of business creation; telling your story through audio and video. Http://mylifeaudio.com.

A reader contacted me about a statement on MyLifeAudio.Com; she asked “if” the site was devoted to offering a positive portrayal of a person’s life, then how did I plan on dealing with someone who wanted to address the difficult moments in their life?

Look at stories on the internet every day using key words (i.e., my life, tell my story, tell your story, etc.) and she’s right; most personal stories on the Internet address tough times.

Dealing with tough times is fine. I made a public relations career of dealing with difficult times for government agencies. I’ve been there hundreds (thousands?) of times.

I’ll give you the same advice I give bureaucrats, discuss what you want, but do it with class.  Place the emphasis on that you’ve learned. Sometimes, publically admitting mistakes or adversity and what you did as a result is life-affirming.

My Primary Concern

I guess my primary concern is how you define yourself. Some people are crippled by the choices they made or the problems they encountered. Some will defend their feelings to the death when they should be humbled by the experience. Some retain anger for events decades in the past. Some cannot and will not forgive slights of friends and family members.

We are all subject to the vanities of life. I am. You are.

But an audio interview and website becomes part of your definition and it leaves a record for years to come.

I may have every justifiable reason to dislike someone but quite frankly, my dislike should not define me as a person. It has little to nothing to do with me and what I’ve accomplished.

Another person spoke of how her mother neglected her during childhood. She sounded bitter and from what she told me, the wounds were unhealed. She had some substance abuse in her history.

She went on to describe her life and while there were rough edges, she was an esteemed employee and a great mother to three children. She volunteered in the community and had lots of friends. She loved to paint and garden. She was a valued member of her church.

OK. She had a legitimate beef with her mother, but she overcame; she succeeded; she won.  She didn’t feel like a winner at times but if the truth is told, her life was a success.

So what sould we focus on, her adversity or her success?

It’s fine to address the tough times and the fact that she didn’t have the best relationship with her mother. But it does a disservice to her and the people who would come to her site to excessively dwell on it. Stating a problem and what you did to overcome it helps define you.

Telling the world of your successes “is” you; it defines you far more than your adversities.

If I had a nickel for every mistake I made as a parent I would be a rich man. But I was a great parent who did everything in my power to love, assist and teach my children.

So what’s my story? My mistakes or the good efforts I made as a father?

If someone else was telling my story, I hope they would tell me that I should focus on my attempts to be the best father I could be.  They would encourage me to admit my mistakes and examine how that made me a better father, a better man.

It’s OK to address adversity. But it’s better to tell us what you learned from those trials and mistakes.  However, the triumph of overcoming adversity is a far more potent and interesting story than dwelling on the negatives of life.

Best, Len.

 

 

 

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